American football is not as popular as fútbol in Mexico. This has led to a problem that many football coaches face: having no players. Most major universities have a football coach, especially because of the NFL’s increased presence, but no players. However, the coach at Borregos University has found an interesting way to get players on his team.

He sends female scouts out into the campus. These women aren’t looking for talent; rather, they are looking for muscle. Most times, once they find someone muscular enough, they sleep with them. However, the men wake up to two surprises: their one night stand is gone already, and there’s a chastity cage around their dick.

A letter is left there as well, explaining that Coach Calafuentes has the key to the cage, but he won’t unlock until the American football season is over. This has lead to Coach fielding full teams for the past three years. As evidenced by the above picture, most are unhappy to be playing, but Coach never reneged on his promise. Some came back to play next season of their own accord!

As for the players who neglected to join, they were in for an adventure. If a person couldn’t play for a valid medical reason, then Calafuentes removes the cage. If they just didn’t want to, they were screwed, somewhat literally. The unlocking mechanism required a screw to come out at the same time as the key turns. Only Coach had the specific key for that, so they were stuck in chastity for ten years, until the key was made public.

Mexico’s leaders learned of this plan, and had it implemented at all schools. In the next fiscal year, the country raked in over a billion extra pesos.

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