Black Kryptonite

Superman was called into the commissioner’s office.

“Hello, Superman. One of our CIs informed us of a new person in the gym district, who appeared to be drinking Bane venom. He had no ill side effects, though. The CI also informed us he hypnotized some men.”

“Sir, hypnosis is one of my most glaring weaknesses.”

“I know. That’s why I contacted the Justice League first. They said they had no innately powerful, in the sense of muscular, magicians, but Zatanna should be here any second.”

She poofed in exactly at that moment.

“Hello, Kal. I’m going to put a protective spell on you, but this is not a panacea. Some kinds can break through it easily. Namrepus arap sisonpyh.” Superman was hit with the spell.

“Good luck,” Zatanna said, as she poofed away.

Superman flew to the criminal, Calvin Hobbes’, last known location, where he luckily still was, controlling two Neo-Nazis and forcing them to fuck.

“Ah, Kal-El, do you recognize me? I think you should.”

“Wait. That’s a Kryptonian symbol. You’re a Kryptonian Enlarger!”

“That’s right. And as you can see from my speedo, I’m the House of El’s Enlarger, which means I can control you easily.”

“I’d like to see you try.”


Superman fell under his control easily, as they were both Kryptonian, and his programming broke through Zatanna’s spell.

“Now, let’s see if I can pull a Bane on you as well.”

Calvin got ready to do so, but couldn’t go through with it. His programming disavowed him to injure or maim the El family without just cause, and personal beliefs just didn’t cut it. So, Calvin decided on the next best humiliating thing.

“Kal, start ripping off your uniform.” He started to do so, then Calvin got a bit scared on how that would look, especially in a part of town with most of the gym goers. He literally put his foot down to stop it. He then switched over into vocal hypnosis.

“Kal, I am your master. You will do whatever I say. You will live your normal life, but when you receive a call and hear, ‘burnt baby powder,’ you will back under my control. Is that understood?”

“Yes, master.”

“Good. You will forget this night ever happened. When someone asks, you will say I got away, but you are still looking for me.”

“Yes, master.”

“Good. Wake up.” Calvin said that far up in the air, using Kryptonian super-hearing to make sure Superman heard him.

Superman woke up, or so he thought, and reported back to the commissioner. Later that night, while Lois was out doing investigative journalism, he received a call.

“Burnt baby powder.”

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