“Dad, I’d like you to meet Xavier. He’s the one,” Carly said, flashing the ring on her finger.
“I see you didn’t ask for my hand in marriage,” said Bob, to which Xavier responded with a deer in headlights look. “Oh, don’t be scared, boy! I can see you’re wearing a button-down and have a pin that they give only to Harvard graduates.”
“Thank you, sir. I know it’s a bit sudden.” Carly, Xavier, and Bob then had lunch together, but Carly had to leave not long afterwards for a dress fitting. Carly’s mom died a few years back, but she had a solid group of girlfriends who would accompany her dress-shopping, so neither Bob nor Xavier had to literally sit through it.
The two sat down on the couch and watched the 1:00 football game, until half-time. Then, Bob turned off the T.V and turned to Xavier. “You know, son, Carly is my fourth daughter I’ve married off.”
“She’s told me that she only has sisters. Did you ever want a boy, Mr. Pearce?”
“Please, call me Bob. And no. I wanted a man who would be able suck my dick one day.”
“You heard me right, son. I’m gay, but my idiot homophobic father forced me into marriage with a woman, and he made sure I sex with her and had at least one biological child to further the family tree.”
“Oh my god, that’s so awful, sir.”
“But you know what else is weird? Repressing gay thoughts can lead to emotional outbursts later in life”
“I have heard of that stati-” Xavier never got to finish as Bob got up and grabbed him by his shirt.
“I have a little fucking tradition here in this household,” seethed Bob, holding Xavier tightly. “If one of my girl’s man can’t suck me off well, then he’s not fit to marry her.”
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