Ricardo took an interesting college elective his junior year. In “Christian Relics and their Powers”, he learned about how the Church used relics, and also how everyday people could use those same relics as well. He was an atheist now, after the various Church scandals, but his father still was a practicing Catholic. And Ricky had quite the crush on Saul. He had wanted to fuck his dad for as long as he could remember, but, alas, it would never happen, because of Saul’s strict adherence to the Church’s rules. However, one relic caught Ricky’s eye.
A piece of cloth from a tunic Jesus had worn was said to have almost hypnotic powers. It compelled people to do things, or so they said. Ricky thought that this would be the perfect method to get his father willing to fuck him. The relic was kept in a church down in South America, but for a nominal fee, one could take it and use it, as long as it was returned the next day. Ricky approached Saul about traveling to see the relic. Saul wholeheartedly agreed, thinking that Ricky was slowly coming back to the faith. Little did he know of the ulterior motives his son had in mind.
A few weeks passed, and it was finally time for the trip. The two hopped on a plane and landed at the closest airport to the church. They made their way to the hotel, and settled in for the night. The next morning, the two made the trek to the church, where Ricky signed out the cloth.
“Let us pray with it,” Saul offered.
“Back in our hotel room,” Ricky counter-offered.
“I don’t see why not. They do allow you to travel with it.” The father-son pair made their way back to the hotel, only a short walk away. Ricky laid the cloth on the bed, as his father began to pray. He recognized the normal prayers, like the Hail Mary, but he also had learned in his relics class that structured prayer wasn’t necessary. You just had to talk to it.
“Hey, God, or whoever’s up there controlling us. I’ve seen the powers behind this cloth, and I want to use it to fuck my father. Can you make it possible for that to happen? Thanks,” Ricky concluded. Suddenly, the cloth flipped itself over. There was no wind in the room, and since Saul’s eyes were closed in prayer, Ricky was the only one who saw it.
Saul then stopped praying. “Hey, Ricky, I don’t know why, but I feel a great desire to do whatever you say. You are my God.”
“Oh, shit!” Ricky thought. The relic truly worked, but it seemed as though it transferred godliness to the person who asked.
“Um, okay, Dad. I want to have sex with you.”
“Okay, Ricky, whatever you say.”
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