Math Camp

“Smile!” said Dylan’s father.

Dylan was going to Math Camp for the summer. This was during the summer between his senior and freshman year. Dylan had already taken AP Calculus BC, the highest you could go, so he wanted a challenge. His dad just stumbled upon their website one day, and decided to sign his son up.

When he arrived at camp, he noticed that most of the other men there, and it was all men, were twinks like him. None of them had that rail-thin skinny look, but none of them were like the counselors, who all seemed to have jock bodies. However, Dylan quickly dropped that stereotype when the guy that showed him around launched into a long tangent about tangents, which as far as Dylan could recall, was all true. The camp was pretty much like most other STEM camps, but one thing Dylan found peculiar was the single rooms. He didn’t mind it, but there were quite a few people at this camp, and apparently even the counselors slept alone.

Math Camp was pretty fun. The only consistently bad thing about it was the food. It seemed as though this year’s budget was blown on the computers, as for all three meals, all they had was mush. Granted, the flavor did change every so often, but Dylan often dreaded meal times. Outside of camp, he noticed a few changes in himself. He seemed to be getting more fit, and muscular. All of his clothes were starting to get tighter, even though the only workout he did was the mandatory run each morning. It seemed as though he wasn’t the only one, as his friend needed to ask him for some underwear, after he had ripped all of his trying to put them on.

About mid-way through the camp, he posted this selfie:

To an average onlooker, he hadn’t changed much. His body tone was still similar, and he had lost some of his tan because they were inside all day. However, some small things did change. Old Dylan would never stick out his tongue while taking a selfie, or wear glasses either. Despite them looking stylish before even going to camp, he said they were for far-away, and not up close.

Camp itself had changed a bit. The workouts had gotten longer and more involved, and the most recent one lasted until lunch time. Dylan also found himself regressing a little bit, and not in the fun mathematic way. He struggled with some equations he had memorized since his freshman year, but he wasn’t alone. It seemed like most of the other guys were having the same problems. And the food! It was still mush, but in even larger quantities. However, Dylan didn’t hate it as much, and around the time he started to forget formulas, he looked forward to eating.

His friends were in for a shock when Dylan returned from “Math Camp”. Many people wondered just what the fuck went on there when Dylan posted a selfie back home looking like this.

He was much more in shape than when he left, and also went shirtless. Dylan wore a shirt whenever he went in the water, and never walked out of a bathroom sans a shirt, ever. He would also never wear a backwards cap. Close friends were also appalled by Dylan’s change in his texting. Normally an eloquent and grammatically correct texter, his recent texts consisted of slang terms and no capitals. They wondered what was wrong with him. This was even more evident when it came time for Dylan to pick his major at his college. Instead of majoring in math, as literally everyone expected, he instead majored in athletic studies, a glorified personal trainer track that was used so the academically-focused college could have a viable athletic program.

The next year, Dylan became a junior counselor at Math Camp. This was the photo he provided to be placed on the site.

He learned during his orientation that Math Camp was just a front to turn nerds like him into sex-crazed jocks, who would then continue the process. Dylan did have sex for the first time, and many times more, in college, and even some senior girls were interested in this used-to-be math nerd who had made a girl orgasm, for real, twice, before he did even once. They key ingredient was the food, which combined low levels of steroids with a pill that dumbed the individuals down. Dylan looked out the window on his first day to see the bus arrive full of kids who looked just like him a year ago.

“Let’s fucking do this!” he said, as the group went to meet the unsuspecting math nerds.
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